I'm Debbie Reynolds

Which movie star are you?

1. Which describes your perfect date?
a) Candlelight dinner for two
b) Amusement Park
c) Roller blading in the park
d) Rock Concert
e) Have dinner & see a movie
f) Dinner at home with a loved one

2. What is your favorite type of music?
a) Rock and Roll
b) Alternative
c) Soft Rock
d) Classical
e) Christian
f) Jazz

3. What is your favorite type of movie?
a) Comedy
b) Horror
c) Musical
d) Romance
e) Documentary
f) Mystery

4. Which of the following jobs would you choose if you were given only these choices?
a) Waiter/Waitress
b) Sports Player
c) Teacher
d) Policeman
e) Bartender
f) Business person

5. Which would you rather do if you had an hour to waste?
a) Work out
b) Make out
c) Watch TV
d) Listen to the radio
e) Sleep
f) Read

6. Of the following colors, which do you like best?
a) Yellow
b) White
c) Sky blue
d) Teal
e) Gold
f) Red

7. Which one of the following would you like to eat right now?
a) Ice cream
b) Pizza
c) Sushi
d) Pasta
e) Salad
f)Lobster Tail

8. Which is your favorite holiday?
a) Halloween
b) Christmas
c) New Year's
d) Valentine's Day
e) Thanksgiving
f) Fourth of July

9. If you could go to any of the following places, which would it be?
a) Reno
b) Spain
c) Las Vegas
d) Hawaii
e) Hollywood
f) British Columbia

10. Of the following, who would you rather spend time with?
a) Someone who is smart
b) Someone with good looks
c) Someone who is a party animal
d) Someone who has fun all the time
e) Someone who is very emotional
f) Someone who is fun to be with

Now total up your points on each question:

1. a-4 b-2 c-5 d-1 e-3 f-6
2. a-2 b-1 c-4 d-5 e-3 f-6
3. a-2 b-1 c-3 d-4 e-5 f-6
4. a-4 b-5 c-3 d-2 e-1 f-6
5. a-5 b-4 c-2 d-1 e-3 f-6
6. a-1 b-5 c-3 d-2 e-4 f-6
7. a-3 b-2 c-1 d-4 e-5 f-6
8. a-1 b-3 c-2 d-4 e-5 f-6
9. a-4 b-5 c-1 d-4 e-3 f-6
10. a-5 b-2 c-1 d-3 e-4 f-6

NOW, take your total and find out which Movie Star you are:

(10-17 points) You are
MADONNA:
You are wild and crazy and you know it. You know how to have fun, but you may take it to extremes. You know what you are doing though, and are much in control of your own life. People don't always see things your way, but that doesn't mean that you should do away with your beliefs. Try to remember that your wild spirit can lead to
hurting yourself and others.

(18-26 points) You are DORIS DAY:
You are fun, friendly, and popular! You are a real crowd pleaser. You have probably been out on the town your share of times,yet you come home with the values that your mother taught you. Marriage and children are very important to you, but only after you have fun. Don't let the people you please influence you to stray.

(27-34 points) You are DEBBIE REYNOLDS:
You are cute, and everyone loves you. You are a best friend that no one takes the chance of losing. You never hurt feelings and seldom have your own feelings hurt. Life is a breeze. You are witty, and calm most of the time. Just keep clear of back stabbers, and you are worry-free.

(35-42 points) You are GRACE KELLY:
You are a lover. Romance, flowers, and wine are all you need to enjoy yourself. You are serious about all commitments and are a family person. You call your Mom every Sunday, and never forget a Birthday. Don't let your passion for romance get confused with the real thing.

(43-50 points) You are KATHERINE HEPBURN:
You are smart, a real thinker. Every situation is approached with a plan. You are very healthy in mind and body. You don't take crap from anyone. You have only a couple of individuals that you consider "real friends". You teach strong family values. Keep your feet planted in them, but don't overlook a bad situation when it does happen.

(51-60 points) You are ELIZABETH TAYLOR:
Everyone is in awe of you. You know what you want and how to get it. You have more friends than you know what to do with. Your word is your bond. Everyone knows when you say something it is money in the bank. You attract the opposite sex. Your intelligence overwhelms most. Your memory is the next thing to photographic. Everyone
admires you because you are so considerate and lovable. You know how to enjoy life and treat people right.

Now put your Movie Star in the subject line, then forward and share with your friends, including the person who sent it to you!

a special birthday

It was Derek's birthday yesterday, and he and I agreed that I'll come over to celebrate. I got a cake from Angelos and some good food (I swear, that man does not eat at all - his fridge is always empty) and rented some standup comedy from Blockbuster. Chris Rock is HILARIOUS!!!!!! And we had such a lovely evening together! He thanked me for spending time with him on his birthday and he was huggy and cute and attentive. We ate chicken, watched the comedy, I gave him his present (the tshirt I got him is too small, darn it, I'll have to exchange it). Then I brought in his cake, with three sparkles on top! He loved it, it looked great and I managed not to drop the cake from getting all the tiny fiery sparkles on my arm... :-)))) Then while I was fetching plates, he came into the kitchen and licked the cake. Then he said, I'm sorry, that was probably very rude. I laughed and shrugged my shoulder and said, it's your cake, you can do what you want with it. And he proceeded to just bite off a big piece! It was so funny! It was something a kid would do. His mustache and beard got all white, even the tip of his nose, it was adorable. What a mess! So I forgot the plates and licked into the cake too, then we cleaned our faces and took the cake to the bed and got some really creative use out of the soft white creamy icing... MMMM. Happy Birthday baby. I love these times when we are comfortable together. Gosh I love him.

This

is turning out to be an expensive week for the toothfairy: Lydia lost her other top front tooth this evening. Great big gap in her smile, it's adorable.
Now, I'll have to sneak in and get the tooth out and the money into the pouch of the Tooth Fairy Bear she got for her first tooth. It's a cute bear with purple wings and a purple pouch for the tooth.
In other good news: we found the hamster! Oreo was on the lose this time for almost a week, and she fell into the same trap again, the tilted smooth plastic garbage can. Proof that my cats have no predatory instinct in them whatsoever: the hamster was in the garbage can for at least a full night and it's still alive, even though it was in the laundry room, where the cats usually hang out at night. Pathetic, but I'm glad, for the hamster's sake.

Flawless logic

Lydia lost a tooth today at school (upper left on the front). She of course related the entire story to me (a budding writer, that girl, for sure, she's got a vocabulary that amazes teachers and friends alike). So they were sitting in the lunch room, eating their sandwiches. Andrew was sitting beside her (a classmate, I hear his name ever-so-often), and he was eating a tuna sandwich. Lydia was munching on hers, which was smoked salmon (can you say sophisticated, for a 7-yr-old? Smoked salmon has been one of her favourite foods, since she was 2), and suddenly, she looked down on her sandwich, and there it was, her tooth! And just after she announced this and showed everyone the tooth, Andrew bit into his sandwich and the same thing happened to him!!!! So, she says: Fishy sandwiches are good for teeth, mommy, they make them fall out! She asked for a salmon sandwich again today, because the other one is also wiggling on the top (actually, hanging on my a thread pretty much). And now that she has a HUGE gap on the top, and the already wiggly tooth practically in the middle of this gap, slightly sticking out of her mouth (I swear she doesn't need a witch costume for Halloween), it's time for the school pictures today!!!! Yeeey! It will be interesting! I hope they'll make her smile big and open her mouth!
She also expressed hope last night that the toothfairy will leave her "bear money" (a tooney) for the tooth, because she wants to get one of those little rubbery Pooh bears out of the vending machine at Toys R Us. Of course, the toothfairy, the softie that she is, gave her a bear money.

Disaster

that's the word for the party last night. It was a swingers meet and greet, hosted by Derek and Denise. I arrived at the place - first of all it was a DUMP. Really. No atmosphere, no class, no service, no nothing at that place, but the smell of booze and old furniture. There were some dart boards up on the back wall, there were some pooltables, and the whole thing looked really depressing. I felt overdressed in my sexy little strappy top with the soft shrug over it - this was a kind of faded jean shirt or trashy sparkly black top sortof a place. Derek and Peter were already there, Denise and the rest were nowhere to be seen, as they were being fashionably late. A young kid was also sitting there, forget his name, clean cut boy, early twenties, honestly, even if he was attractive to me, I would have felt like I was robbing the cradle. A veritable Mrs. Robinson. LOL. So we waited for the rest of the illustrious group to arrive, and with each arrival, I felt more and more uncomfortable with the whole thing. The assessing gaze of the men, the uncomfortable giggly giddyness of the women. Gross. Then Denise arrived with her friend Marcy. Honestly, when I met Denise, I thougth she was a bit low-class (forgive me my superficial elitist phrase, but that's the only way I can describe it), but now, accompanied by her friend and in her "element" gosh, you know, it made me physically sick to think of Derek being with these women and then being with me... That the same dick that was inside them, was inside me as well, turned my stomach. And then one of the guys tried to start up a conversation with me, he was soft and perverted looking and disgusting and it made my skin crawl and suddenly I felt very dirty... I had to get out of there. I tried to explain it to Derek, who came after me, asking what was wrong, and he thought I was really superficial, judging these people after 5 minutes of meeting them... I couldn't really get my thoughts out properly without totally insulting him and his friends, but... I know myself... I know I'm a pretty good judge of character, and very rarely have I been wrong about my first impressions... I do not make judgments lightly, but I have a certain instinct when it comes to people, and it was crystal clear to me that this is not the kind of crowd I want to associate with... and even contemplating to get close to one of the men there was just unthinkable. I don't know what I was expecting, really, I kinda thought it's going to be like the Talk Exchange, but sexier, instead, it was just awful.
So this is the end of my swinging career, thank goodness. I will never contemplate such a thing ever again, and I'm kinda glad that I saw the bottom of the barrel before jumping in...

Printer down

at work, and I can't do much right now.. I've done my filing and my desk is super clean, organized to the last paperclip - pathetic, I know. With all these things happening in my life, a time with nothing to do is not exactly welcome. I don't want to think right now. It's all about the logistics of the move, the stress, the money, Andy's anger... all swirling inside me, turning into a tempest.
Yesterday it was meet the teacher night at Lydia's school and we went and talked to her teacher. I told her about the move and she said she'll keep an extra eye on Lydia to see how she is coping, but also she said I might not see the impact until after the move, which makes sense - that's when it becomes real for all of us.
Her schoolwork is great though, she is very eager and enthusiastic about her math and reading, and I've noticed lately that she is just as eager to please at home, which is wonderful. She cleaned her room without prodding, threatening and begging, and she helps set the table and takes her dishes back to the sink when she is done with her food. I give her lots of praise and it seems to make her want to do more. She said yesterday at bedtime: I'm so glad you are my Mommy. Awwww. I told her I'm glad that she is my girl, too. She comes up with the best lines, too. I told her this morning, you have the most perfect little toes (it's true, it's like a row of pearls at the end of her foot) and she said, and I'm most perfectly sleepy and I want to go back to bed. I totally agreed, that's what I wanted to do... LOL
But, it's Friday! yeeey! I have a party to go to tonight and I'm excited. Should be fun.

Freedom is getting closer

Last Friday, we went to see the unit in the coop that will be available Oct 15th. D. and his son Jamie were at my house, so they came along, too. On the way there (and it's quite a long way from Springbank to Fanshawe Pk Road), Lydia and Jamie were squabbling like siblings: Give me that! No, you'll wrinkle it. No I won't. Mooommyyyy, he wrinkled it!!!!! Mommyyyy, he is stuffing all the donuts in his face all at once!!!! Daddy, she took all the donuts!!!! D. and I laughed, it was too cute. Once we got there, we rang the doorbell, and the two kids practically dashed in the door without an invite. I apologized profusely, but the woman was really nice, she just smiled. We went downstairs (big playroom for Lydia, finished, carpet old but useable, big storage and laundry room, room for the catbox! perfect!!!!). Main floor: Living room, fairly roomy, big windows. Kitchen: small, barely any space for a normal size table, but I could get a small 2 seater one, maybe one that can be folded out for company... The cabinets are in good shape. The colours are beige with beige throughout, but oh well. We can brighten it up with pictures and draperies and stuff. Upstairs: LARGE linen closet (THANK YOU!), nice size bathroom (yes, beige tile). Two surprisingly large bedrooms with BIG closets (yeeey!). Lydia felt VERY comfortable there. She jumped on the beds and couches (of course were told to get off immediately, but not before Jamie got a couple of jumps in as well). She ran out the back door and lay down on the grass and made grass angels. Then she was planning her room already! It was great to see her so enthusiastic! D. looked around too and said he likes it, and he thought it was great that Lydia felt so good there. Then he proceeded to shock the heck out of me by fantasizing about moving in with me... It was cute though and we talked about it after, and clarified that it was just fantasy. Then the kids played on the small playground (swings, slides, climbers, very nice). Lydia was actually protective of Jamie, holding his arm when he was running to far ahead, and she was very bossy with him, and Derek thought that was cute. I picked up an application at the office and we went home.
So now, the application is in, with the $15 fee for credit check, and I just have to wait for the board to decide if they want me. Then there will be an interview, after which they'll let me know. My friend Dianne thinks I won't have a problem...
I can hardly wait!!!!!!!
Yesterday, I met Derek's brother Andrew. I don't think they look alike in the least, but maybe it was just because Andrew has very short hair and is clean shaven, as opposed to my long haired, bearded, Jesus-look love. Andrew struck me as very confident, much more so than Derek, and very friendly and social. He asked me about Russia and Hungary (I love it that people think it's interesting that I'm from Eastern Europe, I mean, it's not very exciting to me... LOL). When he first saw me, I think he thought I wasn't what he expected. I know in looks we don't look like a well-matched couple with Derek... He is thin and handsome and oh so sexy with his hippy look, and me... well... fat and fairly conservative-looking with my short hair and office clothes. But I think after we talked, he liked me well enough. It was interesting though, that not only my insecurities surfaced at the presence of Andrew... Derek asked half-jokingly if I'd fallen in love with his brother (which he mentioned before, months ago, when I never even thought I'd ever meet Andrew). I said, absolutely not and told him how handsome and sexy he is and how enchanting his eyes are... I don't think I'm capable of seeing anyone in a romantic light, especially if Derek is present. Yes, Jen, I'm a big marshmallow when it comes to him! LOL.

Complicated

I realized that in my last few posts, I've been only complaining about my love, and you guys probably have no idea why I even bother with this guy! I know, I know. Well, let me explain. Besides being a lovesick fool, I do have reason to feel the way I feel. I feel such an amazing, powerful, unbreakable connection to him. When we are together, we laugh and we cry and we read to each other, talk about silly things or serious things, about kids, and family and life in general. When he opens up to me, it's so breathtaking, so incredible. And he has this way of looking up from whatever he is doing and staring at me and saying, you are so beautiful. Or rubs my hair and says, you're so cute, with this little smile. And I just melt. Or, when he looks into my eyes and says he loves me... it's the most amazing, dizzyingly happy feeling in the world. It's not just the sex. Both of us said a few times that we feel a connection to the other unlike anything else we've ever felt for anyone else: a body, mind and emotional bond that's so rare. He said, what I feel for you is the closest to religion a humanist can experience. And I believe him, it's not that he is just trying to charm me, he knows he already has. He is so sincere, he sometimes has tears in his eyes when he confesses his love to me.
He can be so arrogant and cocky, and yet so unsure of himself, second-guessing and jumping to conclusions. He can be cold and distant sometimes, and then loving and caring and make me feel like I'm the center of his universe. He pulls away and I want to get inside that head of his, just to know what he is thinking... and then he comes so close, we are almost one mind.
It's the complexity of the man that I love, and the fact that he is a free spirit. So to try to change him, to alter the essence of him, which is the very thing that I love wouldn't make sense. I love him, just the way he is.

Good news at last

The coop where my friend Dianne lives has a vacancy for a 2 br unit (townhouse, so lots of space for Lydia, me and the cats to roam around) for October 15th!!!! I'm going this weekend to take a look at the unit and I'm really excited. It's going to be PERFECT, I just know it in my heart! But in case it's not perfect after all, there is another one coming up in December, but I really would prefer not to wait that long, and also, moving in December is not something I would look forward to...
It will be a great experience not building my life and my home around another person, it's going to be me making the decisions for once. (Of course, keeping my daughter in mind at all times and making sure she is comfortable, but at least I won't be accountable to anyone but myself. I've already started organizing and throwing stuff out I don't need. Once I see the unit, I'll be able to tell what furniture I can take. Actually, Mom has a sectional down in her basement that's comfortable and in pretty good shape, I can probably get that for the living room if it will fit. She wants to get rid of it, she doesn't like it, she told me before. I don't want anything big, but the sectional would provide some flexibility for seating arrangements and would let me have friends over and have a comfortable conversation area.
As for Lydia's countless plushies and toys... gosh, I don't even know where to start packing that stuff!!!!! We'll have to pare them down somewhat (if she'll let me) and organize so she can actually see what she has. Plus, she can leave some of it at her Dad's for visits. And, the tv will be downstairs in the basement, I will NOT have a tv taking center place in the living room anymore! And no tv in my bedroom!!!! yeeey! I'm all excited, can you tell????

A rollercoaster weekend

wow. What a strange weekend!
My Mom: I told her what happened and she totally blamed me. She said I should apologize to A., that I never should have angered him so much that he felt the need to hit me. Thanks, Mom. She also told me to pray and that she is praying for me. Great, that will help a lot. I lost it at work, I cried at my desk, S. from Accounts Receivable hugged me and we chatted briefly about mothers. And then, a couple of hours later, the phone rings, and it's Mom's number. I thought (though why, I don't know, why would she start giving me what I need???) she is calling to say she loves me and she'll help me get through this, but NO. She asked me to drop into Basic Foods and get her three cases of canning jars, as she was just starting to do her tomatoes. When I dropped off the cases, I was wearing pants, so of course I got a passing remark about women dressed like men and walking so far away from God. By then I was just defiant and angry and left with a really short goodbye.
On Friday, my friend Dianne called to tell me there is a whole bunch of vacancies in her coop, and I called right away, left a message. Their office hours are Monday and Thursday, so I'm expecting a call today. I talked to Lydia about changing schools, and actually, it went better than I expected... A big rock off my chest. That coop is at Fanshawe and Adelaide, very nice area, very good school, not grubby and depressing like some of the apartments I've been looking at, a 3 bedroom townhouse in a very clean, lovely coop, fairly reasonable.
Then on Friday afternoon, I had 5 girls over at my house, it was great listening to them play and giggle.
Then on Saturday morning, Andy and I had a talk, he actually apologized for what he did, he said he was way out of line and we had a comfortable chat. It was nice.
On Saturday afternoon, D. and I took Lydia and his son to the Fair and had a great time, it was so cute to see the two of them together. His little boy copies EVERYTHING Lydia does, it's hilarious. We had fun watching them on rides and generally just being together. Then in the evening, I went over to his place and had a great evening watching Curb your Enthusiasm shows off DVD and chatting and just hanging out. He told me he loved me a countless times and gosh, he sounds so sincere when he said it, and the fool that I am, I believed him. When I went home I felt so good, so calm and like everything was right with the world.
Then Sunday happened. Andy came up with the idea again for us to stay in the house and now he truly promised to move down to the basement (which he was only starting to work on half-assed before). He said he'll make Christmas a deadline, and until then, or after, he will not touch me or Lydia, and will work on the basement every weekend. Sigh. It was tempting, especially because he already told Lydia, who was begging me to stay, but I knew it is a BAD idea. So I said I still intend to move out, but as usual, he explained all the reasons why my idea was totally stupid and then proceeded to act like I've agreed to stay, talking about cleaning up the basement and getting the litterboxes upstairs. I was like, did you not hear what I said????? Then in the evening, since I still had the babysitter booked from 5 to 10, I went over to D's place (I couldn't reach him on the phone, but I figured, after the night we spent together and the way he was talking, it's OK). And the door swung open, he was standing in the doorway, and look, there is a woman behind him sitting on the couch. I went in anyway, still thinking, ok, it's not what you think. She was introduced and we had a nice little chat and we hung out for a while, his neighbour came over too, and all the while my head was going a hundred miles an hour. He later said that he was trying to fix her up with Peter, but I don't think that was the reason she was there in the first place. To top it off (and now I'm going to sound disgustingly elitist), she is kinda trashy, tattoos on her back and her upper arm, outdated glasses and horrible haircut and grown-down dye job, and none too bright either, doesn't have much to say, mostly just giggle. Oh don't get me wrong, nice, harmless girl, but clearly not even from the same planet as me. As the three of them were talking about how high they've gotten in the past and how fun that was, or how horrible, I thought, hell, this is SOOO not my scene, I'm worth SO much more that this. Suddenly, it was just too much and wasn't remotely fun anymore so I left early and came home, but then I couldn't sleep, thoughts swirling in my head and my heart PHYSICALLY in pain. Is that what a heartbreak feels like? Or is this just my heart expelling him from itself and leaving a huge gaping hole where my love for him used to be? I don't know. I guess I'll find out in the next couple of days.

I got this from J-Girl's blog.
I want to just play instead of posting something serious...
You put in BOLD the things you have done.

1 - Bought everyone in the bar a drink.
2 - Swam with wild dolphins.
3 - Climbed a mountain.
4 - Taken a Ferrari for a test drive.
5 - Been inside The Great Pyramid.
6 - Held a tarantula.
7 - Taken a candlelit bath with someone.
8 - Said "I love you" and meant it.
9 - Hugged a tree.
10 - Bungee jumped.
11 - Visited Paris.
12 - Watched a lightning storm at sea.
13 - Stayed up all night long and saw the sunrise.
14 - Seen The Northern Lights.
15 - Gone to a huge sports game.
16 - Walked the stairs to the top of The Leaning Tower Of Pisa.
17 - Grown and eaten your own vegetables.
18 - Touched an iceberg.
19 - Slept under the stars.
20 - Changed a baby's diaper.
21 - Taken a trip in a hot air balloon.
22 - Watched a meteor shower.
23 - Gotten drunk on champagne.
24 - Given more than you can afford to charity.
25 - Looked up at the night sky through a telescope.
26 - Had an uncontrollable giggling fit at the worst possible moment.
27 - Had a food fight.
28 - Bet on a winning horse.
29 - Asked out a stranger.
30 - Had a snowball fight.
31 - Screamed as loudly as you possibly could.
32 - Held a lamb.
33 - Seen a total eclipse.
34 - Ridden a roller coaster.
35 - Hit a home run.
36 - Danced like a fool and not cared who was looking.
37 - Adopted an accent for an entire day.
38 - Actually felt happy about your life, even for just a moment.
39 - Had two hard drives for your computer.
40 - Visited all 50 states.
41 - Taken care of someone who was wasted.
42 - Had amazing friends.
43 - Danced with a stranger in a foreign country.
44 - Watched wild whales.
45 - Stolen a sign.
46 - Backpacked in Europe.
47 - Taken a road trip.
48 - Gone rock climbing.
49 - Midnight walk on the beach.
50 - Gone skydiving.
51 - Visited Ireland.
52 - Been heartbroken longer than you were actually in love.
53 - In a restaurant, sat at a stranger's table and had a meal with them.
54 - Visited Japan.
55 - Milked a cow. (does a goat count?)
56 - Alphabetized your CDs.
57 - Pretended to be a superhero.
58 - Sung karaoke.
59 - Lounged around in bed all day.
60 - Posed nude in front of strangers.
61 - Gone scuba diving.
62 - Kissed in the rain.
63 - Played in the mud.
64 - Played in the rain.
65 - Gone to a drive-in theater.
66 - Visited The Great Wall Of China.
67 - Started a business.
68 - Fallen in love and not had your heart broken.
69 - Toured ancient sites.
70 - Taken a martial arts class.
71 - Played D&D for more than 6 hours straight.
72 - Gotten married. (twice)
73 - Been in a movie.
74 - Crashed a party.
75 - Gotten divorced. (once already, and hey, now I'm gonna do it again)
76 - Gone without food for 5 days.
77 - Made cookies from scratch.
78 - Won first prize in a costume contest.
79 - Ridden a gondola in Venice.
80 - Gotten a tattoo.
81 - Rafted The Snake River.
82 - Been on a television news program as an expert.
83 - Got flowers for no reason.
84 - Performed on stage.
85 - Been to Las Vegas.
86 - Recorded music.
87 - Eaten shark.
88 - Eaten fugu (pufferfish).
89 - Had a one-night stand.
90 - Gone to Thailand.
91 - Bought a house.
92 - Been in a combat zone.
93 - Buried one/both of your parents.
94 - Been on a cruise ship.
95 - Spoken more than one language fluently. (for about 3 years)
96 - Performed in The Rocky Horror Picture Show.
97 - Raised children.
98 - Followed your favorite band/singer on tour.
99 - Taken a bicycle tour in a foreign country.
100 - Picked up and moved to another city just to start over.
101 - Walked The Golden Gate Bridge.
102 - Sang loudly in the car and didn't stop when you knew someone was looking.
103 - Had plastic surgery.
104 - Survived an accident that you shouldn't have survived.
105 - Wrote articles for a large publication.
106 - Lost over 100 pounds. (Does losing the same 20 and gaining it back count?)
107 - Held someone while they were having a flashback.
108 - Piloted an airplane.
109 - Petted a stingray.
110 - Broken someone's heart.
111 - Helped an animal give birth.
112 - Won money on a TV game show.
113 - Broken a bone.
114 - Gone on an African photo safari.
115 - Had a body part of yours below the neck pierced.
116 - Fired a rifle, shotgun, or pistol.
117 - Eaten mushrooms that were gathered in the wild.
118 - Ridden a horse.
119 - Had major surgery.
120 - Had a snake as a pet.
121 - Hiked to the bottom of The Grand Canyon.
122 - Slept for more than 30 hours over the course of 48 hours.
123 - Visited more foreign countries than U.S. States.
124 - Visited all 7 continents.
125 - Taken a canoe trip that lasted more than two days.
126 - Eaten kangaroo meat.
127 - Eaten sushi.
128 - Had your picture in the newspaper.
129 - Changed someone's mind about something you care deeply about.
130 - Gone back to school.
131 - Parasailed.
132 - Petted a cockroach. (Why on Earth would I do that???)
133 - Eaten fried green tomatoes.
134 - Read The Iliad And The Odyssey. (in Hungarian translation though)
135 - Selected an important author who you missed in school and read something they wrote.
136 - Killed and prepared an animal for eating.
137 - Skipped all your school reunions.
138 - Communicated with someone without sharing a common spoken language.
139 - Been elected to public office.
140 - Written your own computer language.
142 - Had to put someone you love into hospice care.
143 - Built your own PC from parts.
144 - Sold your own artwork to someone who didn't know you.
145 - Had a booth at a street fair.
146 - Dyed your hair.
147 - Been a DJ.
148 - Shaved your head.
149 - Caused a car accident.
150 - Saved someone's life.

Thanks J-Girl, you took my mind off my troubles for about 15 minutes! :-)

Decisions

I'm not very good at them at the best of times... There are so many thoughts swirling in my head, and of course, my daughter's comfort and happiness and safety are of the utmost importance. So we are looking for something in the area we live in now, to keep her in the same school and in the vicinity of her friends. But, we live close to Wortley Village, which is where she goes to school, and which is kindof a "fancy" neighbourhood. Not in a flashy, flauntingly rich kind of way, no, it's more like the funky "urban peasant" kinda artsy way. I LOVE it, but it's EXPENSIVE. We looked at a place yesterday, it was two bedrooms, the main level of a house, and we would get the use of a backyard and a patio, and the basement for laundry and cat litterbox, which would be wonderful, 2 minutes away from Lydia's school (ok, 5, if you walk slow). But, the bedrooms and the closets are pint-sized, there isn't a lot of space, and it's 750 plus utilities... EXPENSIVE. The most I can afford is $700 incl. So I'm looking further today, more to the south and more to the north, and on the other side of Wharncliffe and see if that will come up with anything promising. At work, they don't have anything in the area, all the properties we manage seem to be FARTHEST possible away from here... Sigh..

News about me

I'm moving. Something pretty bad happened on the weekend, though nothing I didn't bring on myself, really. So I'm moving. Looking for an apartment right now.

Ha! Famous last words!

that last post I had yesterday? NEVER MIND!!!! I am as desperately in love as ever! Yesterday afternoon, I had a panic attack in the car, I wanted him to hold me so much. I had to breathe and I felt I was suffocating. And then we met at the Talk Exchange, the last one at the Alex P., and we got together afterwards.
We had an enchanted night together, it was incredible. Our love for each other increased so much that we both wept and laughed. And... he asked me if I will "officially" be his girlfriend and I said yes. Even though I told him that boyfriend/girlfriend is just not a deep enough word for what I feel. So he is officially my LOVE. Not just lover, not A lover. MY lover. My love.

I'm free

I feel there is light at the end of a tunnel. (even though I chose the tunnel myself and I enjoyed it very much while I was in it, it was, nonetheless, a tunnel). Something happened yesterday that should have upset me but it didn't. I felt curiously free and lighthearted about it. After I left his place, a snippet of a Leonard Cohen song came to mind:

and for something like a second
I'm cured, and my heart is at ease.

hmmm. Interesting. Maybe I AM growing up. Or maybe I'm learning how to move on. I'm reminded of a theory I read somewhere (it was in a book about reincarnation), that everyone who touches you deeply comes into your life to teach you something about yourself. D. touched me more than I ever imagined. And I'm still learning the lesson, I'm sure. But I feel like I AM learning it now instead of just spinning my wheels.

a better picture

Nothing lasts forever

I'm reminded these days of the way everything in life is in constant flux and change. The Talk Exchange is over, whether it will be re-born in another form remains to be seen. People move on to other blogs and start being interested in new things. People come in and out of our lives and touch us in different ways, leave their fingerprints on our soul and move on.
It's good that it's like this, I know it can be very painful to try and hold on to something that no longer exists. It can cause a lot of grief when you're rigid and refuse to change even when everything around you is changing. And usually I'm fairly fluid and can embrace the new experiences. It's leaving the old ones behind that's painful. I tend to live in the moment these days. I try to concentrate on what I'm doing at that time and lose myself in the enchantment of the moment. Whether its bathing my kid, or reading a story with her, whether it's having a long-distance counselling/bitching session with my friends, making the financial statements balance for the property I'm working on, or being embraced in my lover's arms. I don't want to think about the future or saying goodbye, but it still creeps up on me. It's the fall, too, I love it with all its colours and cooler weather, but it IS a sort of death, a sort of change, a sort of goodbye to the long, hot summer. It always makes me melancholy.