Happy Baby
We talked. Had a great discussion about what's going on and about the new girl... and... we're back on. So is the new girl, and she is cool with it. In fact, she wants to be friends. And he is cool with it, and I'm so happy I could fly. I'm keeping my lover and gaining a friend. Perfect.
I have this big grin on my face and I can't sleep... I'll pay for that later at work. But I couldn't care less at the moment.
posted by flameskb at 1:22 AM
5 Comments:
this is not good, flames. be his friend, absolutely, but this is NOT good for you, and you KNOW that.
4:59 AM
My first thought reading this was, wow, lucky guy, how come this kind of thing never happened to me? (Can you tell I'm male?) My next thought, followed very closely on the heels of the first, was, yike!
It's possible all this will work out swimmingly--there are polyamorous triads all over the world to attest that it does, sometimes--but.
The opportunity for heartbreak here at least triples. Consider: yesterday, you were alone. Not perhaps your ideal state, but one you need to make peace with before you can exist peacefully in relationship with anyone else. Today, you're part of, not a couple, but a triangle. Instead of a you/me dynamic--which is hard enough to deal with as it is--you've got you/me, you/her, me/her. That's like walking a tightrope over a minefield. Blindfolded.
I concur with j-girl.
6:38 AM
I know.. I KNOW. My head knows... my heart and other parts, well, that's another story. at least you can say I told you so when it all blows up in my face... I'll see on Sunday how I feel, seeing him and her.
Ken, as for the lucky guy... I don't know WHAT it is about him, but he draws certain women like a moth to flame... like one of the women said: he has all the characteristics of a cult leader... charismatic, aloof, arrogant yet sensitive, and when he focuses in on you, it's very heady. And he has the greatest ability to talk around everything so it ends up all explained and just peachy... like yesterday, I called him to clarify things and see what's going on and I was upset and mad at the beginning, and by the time we were done, I was giddily flying.... who the hell knows why... HAH! maybe he is an alien with mind-bending powers!!!! A vampire, sucking on the souls of unsuspecting females... uuuuhaaaaahhaaaaahaaaa (evil laughter). in one word, YOU are the lucky one, and especially your wife, because I'm sure your love is straightforward and clear, not murky and mysterious like something lurking and surfacing in a swamp.... but for now, this moth is heading towards her flame.
8:58 AM
So, do we call you 'mothskb' now? *smile*
I'd never say 'I told you so'. I really believe in letting each person walk their own path; you get a better idea of who you really are from your own experience than from somebody else's words.
What matters is what you're telling yourself. Some day--perhaps--you'll be able to look back and say "I told me so".
Or you might have found a couple of lifemates. Who knows, right?
----
"You can't be responsible for how clearly your message is received, only for how clearly it is sent." I try to be as clear as I can in my love for people. Tends to disconcert some of them, actually--the ones who were looking for murk and mystery (even if they say they weren't) don't know what to make of me. I'm wary, myself, of murk and mystery, but I can't let preferences cloud my thinking here. Most people *like* murk and mystery, I've found.
At any rate, flames, don't let yourself down or sell yourself short. It is a RARE individual who can love more than one person romantically at the same time. Sometimes I still find myself wishing I could be one of those people, but past experience has shown me I am not and will never be.
9:48 AM
well, lover and I exchanged some emails and then got together last night and I laid down some ground rules that I expect of him (mostly about respecting my feelings and COMMUNICATION, because he could have spared me this week's heartache if he told me ahead of time... He was actually surprised by my strong reaction but I explained how I felt. He said my feelings are important to him and that he will keep the things I brought up in mind. I hope so. We had a wonderful time together but I reminded him a few times about other times when we had a great time and then the next time we met/talked it was distant and sent me into an insecure spin. So today, we talked and he was charming and kind "the day after", so far so good... LOL.
we had a bit of an adventure, actually, I'll have to blog it because it was just too freaky...
6:28 PM
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