A really large cucumber

Don't worry Barb, this is not as naughty as the title suggest, safe to read...

My Mom and I have this thing with watermelons. We can NEVER pick the good ones. My Dad used to buy the watermelons back home at the market, and he always came home with a huge, red, juicy, sweet one for us. Whereas Mom and I... we have methods... The watermelon is a nice shiny dark green, with a yellow spot - check. The vine stump is dried up - check. Tap it and it makes a hollowish sound - check. Dad did the same thing. And then we would take it home and it would be... NOT a watermelon... more like a fat cucumber.. So it happened today. I picked one up at the store, did all the tapping, sniffing and looking, and picked one out that I thought looked good. I brought it home, and Lydia and Leila wanted some - they were thirsty after all the hamster hunting (see below). I cut it open, it smelled nice. Then it cracked open and it was... PINK. Not a nice juicy red, not even a dark pink... not even mauve... No... a light, puny, pale pink. The girls had a taste (I only cut the center out for them) and deemed it yucky. Well, if I wanted cucumber, I would have bought a cucumber and not carried a giant large round thing home!!!! This is not even good for a salad...