I Lost it
today. Lydia worked herself up into a TOTAL hysteria, because her friend couldn't come over... Usually, I can handle it pretty well, I can stay cool, firm but loving, but today, it was the straw that broke the camel's back... As she was writhing on the floor, making a HUGE scene, I yelled at her to STOP it RIGHT now, and then I started bawling... I ran to my room, threw myself on the bed and pretty much did exactly what she was doing... It's amazing how quickly her tears dried up!!!!!! Little brat!!!!! Once I've calmed down, I came out to the living room and sat on the couch with her and we hugged. I said, it's not her fault that I'm upset, I don't want her to feel responsible for my moods. But I also said that Mommy is going through some hard adjustments (new job, etc, I didn't mention the split yet to her), and that she could help a little bit by not throwing a hissy fit if something doesn't go her way.... She said she'll try but it's sooooo haaaaard when she has nobody to play with.... LOL... Ahh, to be 6... sorry, almost 7...
I got the application for the coop, I'm working on filling that out and I pretty much have all the papers I need to submit with the application. Baby steps...
posted by flameskb at 5:49 PM
4 Comments:
*hug* Sometimes there's nothing for it but to just throw your own tantrum. Cathartic. I bet Lydia was surprised.
It's okay, you know: Mommies are human, too. With the stress you're going through, it's a wonder you don't have to peel yourself off the roof every hour of every day.
6:15 PM
Yes, actually she was... She was probably thinking, ooops, I guess that was a bit more than mommy can take... Thanks for the hug.
5:22 AM
Well, sometimes, you have to show your kids some vulnerability, otherwise, they start thinking you're perfect and they'll never measure up. I think I've just explained the dynamic between me and MY mom... lol
5:41 AM
you're right, jgirl, I think moms (and women in general) want to appear like they have it all under control... meanwhile, this other shit called life keeps butting into the "perfect" little world we envision and all of a sudden, we seem... HUMAN!!!! LOL.
She was actually very, very good this morning, doing her thing without constant nagging... looks like she doesn't want to push THAT button again on Mommy.... LOL.
10:21 AM
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