hmmm

Andy (my husband) called me today at work. He said he thought about "stuff". I thought Uh OH... But he was actually quite nice... he had a proposition for me. He said, if I stay in the house with Lydia, he'll continue paying the expenses (mortgage, hydro, heat, etc) in place of child support. I would not owe him anything, he would not owe me anything, it would help him keep the house (it would be hard for him to keep the house bills up on his own AND pay me child support), and it would definitely help me financially, since I wouldn't have to pay rent. He said he will convert the house back into a duplex (it was before the previous owners), clean up the basement and renovate the downstairs bathroom. There is a kitchen there already.
At first, I didn't know what to think.. Then I thought, wow, it WOULD help me a LOT not having to pay rent. It would help Lydia to not take her out of the home she's lived in most of her life. As long as he keeps up the schedule he has now (he is RARELY home, he is a truck driver), it could actually work.... That's the positive... THEN I thought... YIKES. If I start dating openly, it could get uncomfortable. Even if we do have separate living spaces. Then, what if he still expects for me to have sex with him since we're still "under the same roof". Plus, his temper. He can be a nice, calm guy one second, a brooding, growling hermit the next, and an angry, raging monster a moment after that... What if in one of his rages he decides that the arrangement isn't working for him and tells us in the middle of the night to get the *&^% out?
Even though legally, he couldn't kick us out of our home, it would still be ugly. And of course, there is the main reason why I don't want to stay with him in the first place - his putdowns, his sarcastic, mean, hurtful comments he hurls at me any time out of the blue. That's the thing I wanted to get away from in the first place.... sigh... I have a lot to think about... again...